I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
