I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
