They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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