It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
