i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I love having hate sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
