Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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