No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
