i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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