I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
