I'm going to jail i love you
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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