He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
