she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
