No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
