how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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