Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
