1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
