I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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