Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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