i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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