I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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