elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
