he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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