look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
