so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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