What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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