It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
