you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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