Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
