i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
