I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We left the knife in your bed.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
