i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
