she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize