Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
