Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was born a porn star she said
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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