your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
