I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
