I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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