So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
