Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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