this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
