I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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