I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
