So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
operation have a gay friend backfired
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
