does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
