thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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