He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
whose parrot is this?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
