my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
