very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
