hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
