shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
