i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
FUCK WHALES
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
