hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
