I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
