I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
