dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
