He kissed a someone with a penis
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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