I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
