Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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